What I Know About Relationships

taken from inmagine.com

A few months ago, I was given a task by a friend to write for an online magazine.
The topic was a letter written to a younger me.
At that moment of life, I was pondering upon what it really means to be with a woman & what is she in a man's life.
Here is my letter to a younger me...

Dear Younger Me,

I know exactly how you feel. I understand your needs. I was curious like you were. I watched the same movies and read the same novels. I know that you like girls, keep it that way. They require a lot of work but everything you put into her comes back multiple folds. She is the perfect investment. Invest in her and you will never end up with a loss!

But how do you choose? Remember to choose only one. I know you are curious about other women but honestly speaking, one woman is more fulfilling than many women. When one woman decides to give you her all, it is better than any gift you can ever imagine. Definitely better than what the many women can give you. Besides, it is not in your nature to have multiple women. I know. However, do not go with just any woman. Time your time to discover her. Intuition will lead you to the right one. The one that keeps you up at night and wakes you up in the morning. The one that you feel most alive, natural and yourself with. She is the one.

When you find her, remember not to rush into things. Believe it or not, you need time as well to figure out whether she is someone you are willing to spend your time with. Consider your needs, her needs, your family, her family and your futures. I know there are many things you want to try out but women are different. They have more to lose. So be the man, tell her it is ok to take her time. Let her open up to you slowly. Be true to her and she will be true to you. Be honest with her and she will learn to trust you. Respect her and she will be comfortable with you. They know when you lie. So don’t even try. If you do, do apologise.

Once you earn her trust, she will automatically want to draw closer to you. Do not neglect her. Love her. Listen to her. Empathise. Adore her. Spend time with her. Make her laugh. Surprise her. Tease her. Care for her. Wipe her tears off her face. Encourage her. Let her know that you are thinking of her. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Always keep in mind that neither of you are perfect. There is no such thing as the perfect couple. One day you will disagree on something. On that day, be a real man. Learn to humble yourself and let her win arguments. When she is more emotionally stable, bring up the issue again – gently. Respect her views. Stay. Don’t run away from your problems. Two heads are better than one. Solve them together.

However, remember that you are the man and she should respect your decisions. Choose your faith, principles and priorities wisely and stick to them. As long as they are reasonable, there is no reason for a woman to want you to change this basis of your character. She should accept, understand and honour them. So should you, even when honouring them forces you to wait for something good. It is more rewarding to wait for something good. I know.

God is your Lord and she is your helper. Do not make her your God or make her your mother. She should be your partner working hand in hand towards a common goal. Man and woman: the perfect team. Complementing. Your weaknesses strengthened by her and vice versa. Understand that when two become one flesh. It’s not all about sex. It is equally about emotional, mental & spiritual union as well. No matter what age, race, background or personality, as long as the both of you are willing to cooperate in such a manner, there is a large chance that this relationship will go far. Very far.

If your relationship does not work out, do not be discouraged. Mourn. Reflect. Let go. Let good experiences and mistakes teach you valuable lessons. Do not go out deliberately on a desperate search for a replacement. Never treat a woman as a rebound. It is a shameful act for a man. You are ready to love again when you have accepted and are walking in a single life. Confusing I know. The best women are discovered by accident. God has a way of putting wonderful woman in your way when you are ready. After all, he does knows what’s best for you.

I have spent much of my life pondering and suffering to receive these insights. My wish is you will not. However, if it is God’s will for you, so be it. But if you feel stuck and are in need of a little insight to shed light on your relationship, unfold this letter again and let my heart speak to you.
I love you.

Yours sincerely,
The future you.


  1. wow! this is awesome!

    i especially liked the one where you said:

    "God is your Lord and she is your helper. Do not make her your God or make her your mother. She should be your partner working hand in hand towards a common goal. Man and woman: the perfect team."

    thanks for the wise words and insights Jarod :)

  2. Ouh, this looks familier..
    You post this our after u gave us the paper or b4..??
    i think is b4..!! ^^

    Hehe.. btw, really want to apologize abt yesterday thing..
    i dun meant to be like that anyway.
    wELL.. er.. soli!!

    Er~~ tmr remember to bring xtra clothes.. did cik aimi tell u??
    Hahaa.. PREPARE..!!! Hehee..

    Fri is gonna b ur last day.. v will surely miss u!!



  3. Anonymous24/9/08 16:53

    online mag ?
    cool ...

    is this based on a true story ?

    i wonder why you ...
    ask the class to write a letter to a younger me ...
    hmph ~

    good luck in the future ...
    hope you will be sent to your desired school after this ...


  4. Glo:
    Thanks, Glo!
    But much of what I've learnt was learned the hard way.

    I wrote it long before I came up with the idea of getting you guys to do the same.

    I will not bring any extra clothes to school tomorrow.
    Do not do anything you will regret.

    Its a personal log...
    Most of it is true...
    I got you guys to write because I know how important it is to learn from the past.
    Writing the letter got you thinking of your past & how to improve it.

  5. how old are you, again? haha.

    i wish there were a lot more guys out there who really look back and reflect on their actions!

    you are so deep.

    i believe many of us are reflective, but to put it in words, only few can do it.

    you articulated your thoughts about relationships so thoroughly, yet you managed to put it in a very straightaway, simple manner.

    i envy you.

    btw, thanks for the birthday wish!~

  6. i meant, "straightforward". *sigh*

  7. haha this is a cool idea. i think i'll try to do the same =)

    wish that there are more men who think that way

  8. Anonymous25/9/08 18:59

    hi ...
    one more day to go ...
    ha ha ...

    most of it true ...
    mean ...
    got some not true lah ...
    jk ...

  9. Beautiful piece. Wish I had read it sooner when it came into my mailbox weeks ago. Sorry babe...I must have missed it!

    Glad I've found someone who is able to be so honest, open, and articulate about his feelings =)


  10. hmmmm... may i noe who r u actually???

  11. sri aman rocks waaaaay harder! :p

    p/s we will make him cry, it IS his last day. haha.
    just kidding.

  12. can i please have the permission to put the link to think post on my blog? thanks!

  13. Well done JK! It's great to seeing another guy treating relationships in this way. God must have inspired you to write this piece hey. It's the male version of 'A Letter to My Daughter'. Awesome!

  14. Nayzi:
    Dont envy me...
    I was young & arrogant once...
    Now I learn & reflect...
    I have also developed a complex ability to express...
    I believe it is wholly nurture...

    One day, you will surpass me...
    Only if you want to...

    Go ahead!


    I think it got lost for a reason...
    Or perhaps someone has deleted it...
    Well... at least you read it now!

    I do apologise if I have caused alarm...
    I am a random blog surfer/reader!
    I leave comments on unfamiliar blogs if the writings caught my eye...

    SMK Puteri Titiwangsa rocks the HARDEST!!!

    Anyway, did he cry?

    Feel free!
    You can write one of your own too if you like!

    Yes, it really was divine inspiration...
    God has taught me a lot in life through experiences...
    When I sat down to write this piece...
    He brought them back & taught me valuable lessons...

  15. lol..... uncle.... i m also frm SMKPT la..... ex-student... hahahha

  16. awesome sharing, bro!

    Keep it up!!

  17. Glad to have seen your honesty, sincerity and bravery today. It will be a long journey ahead, with many sharp turns and windy roads. But hold on to the sincerity inside of you and things will be okay.

    (Just don't give me another sudden cardiac arrest... )



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