Tuesday, April 29

My Constant One Night Stands

Picture taken from outfitinspirations.com

For a guy who's into long term relationships...
I somehow constantly end up in one night stands where I'm up all night working my mind and body on top of my cushioned chair or on my squeaky bed and sometimes even on the warm wooden parquet in my room...

I tried starting it for a week or occasionally even a month!
But I am unable to maintain a good level of commitment...
I unconciously avoid or stay away until the very last minute & when it cannot be delayed any longer, I end it all after a loooong, tiring but goooood night...

Am I a bad person?
I care...
But I don't want to put too much effort into it because I don't think that it is of the utmost importance...
There are many other things for me to divide my attention on in my busy life!
I have my friends, my professional development, events to organise, events to MC, football & my family!

Is it wrong to have one night stands?
As long as I do a good job, right?
Spending 12hrs in one night is almost the same as spending 1 hrs per day over 12 days, right?
Humbly speaking, I think I actually perform really really well in my one nighters...
Everyone involved was always satisfied...
I guess I do a spur of the moment thing much better than a planned long term thing...

Tonight is one of those nights...
We met about 4 months long time ago...
I recieved constant reminders... even from friends & LECTURERS!
They want us to get together...
They want me to produce something long term...
Something good...
But I just cant! I cant make the time!

However, I think that we have a good understanding...
I know what is needed & I know what I want to do that'll make it work...
But I never really put much thought into it...
I only started giving a lot more attention a few days ago...

As fate has always had it...
Once again...
Tonight we meet for a mutual one nighter...

See you in 12 hours...
I'm going to have a one night stand with someone called...


Monday, April 21

Who Would Love A Guy Like Me?

Who would love a guy like me?

One day at a local club two good friends were talking about relationships.
A: How long have you been single?
B: 2 years.
A: Why so long? I'm sure many girls would love to be with you!
B: No they won't.
A: Yes they will! Ok, look... I'll give you RM100 if you manage to dance with that girl over there. Another RM100 if you go home with her tonight and another RM100 if you guys become steady.
B: Haha... I appreciate what you're doing, bro... but I'm not like that... Anyway, who would love a guy like me? *thinks for a moment* But for your sake, I'll prove my point.

He walks up to a girl at another corner of the bar. A hot young lady who he noticed has been checking him out...
B: Hello! What's your name?
C: Claire.
B: Clarie! Nice to meet you! Ok, I need your opinion on something if you don't mind...
C: Sure, what is it?
B: Would you love a guy like me?
C: Ah, of course! *laughs*
B: *laughs* Thanks for bring so sporting! But seriously, would you? Sure, I'm good looking, I have good hair, I have good teeth, I workout, I dress well, I am well mannered, I dance well and I could even be good in bed... but would you still love me: When I have a lot of female associates, colleagues and friends? Many of them attractive and successful? A few of them may even fancy me. Would you still love me? What happens when work stresses me out? When I just want to be alone? When I can't spend much time with you, can't call you, I'm tired and cranky and you have doubts of whether I still love you? Would you still love me?
C: *thoughtful* Erm... Well... *pitiful* Maybe not...
B: Yeah... Anyway, thanks, Claire! Have a good night!

As he walks back to his table, he accidently bumps into a sweet young lady at the bar and causes her to drop her drink.
B: Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry! Let me pay for that and let me buy you a replacement.
D: That wont be necessary.. It's ok...
B: No, I insist! Think of it as a kind priviledge a sweet young lady, like yourself, grants a humble gentleman, like myself, for having done something so disagreeable.
D: *giggles* Ok!
B: Ah, you liked that? *pays the bartender for the drinks he has just served* Here, you'll like this even more! *lifts his cup* A toast to you, my lady, for being generous to me with your beautiful smile... Cheers!
D: *laughs* Cheers!
B: Erm... Before you go... Can i ask you a question?
D: Sure!
B: I'm curious... Would someone as sweet as you be attracted to someone boring like me?
D: *laughs* No, you're not boring... And to your question, I'd say... *pretends to be thinking really hard* Yes! *laughs*
B: *laughs* Then, would you love me?
D: Well... Depends... Actually... *giggles* Well, if you do things right & keep sweet talking like that I might! *laughs*
B: *smiles* Noooooo... Honestly?!
D: Yes! *smiles all so brightly*
B: You can't be serious!
D: I am! *trying to look serious but actually looking very very cute*
B: Well, I disagree. Because when you are looking into my eyes and I'm gazing adorably into yours... I have become like a wizard who has cast a spell on you with my magical words. However, this charm won't last for long because when I look away, the spell is weakened and you'll start thinking: Is he honest? What does he really want? Oh my gosh, how many women has he said these same words to before me? Then, as doubt creeps in, the spell will be broken... The feeling of euphoria and being swept off your feet will completely dissapear! Then, you won't want to look into my eyes anymore because you'll be too disgusted with me! I'll change from prince charming into a sleezy cheating womaniser. With all those doubts and thoughts floating around in your head, would you really still love me?
D: I guess not... Ok, I think I should go now... Sorry... Bye...
B: It's ok. Thanks for listening!

He walks back to his friend...
A: Hey, you chat up two good looking prospects but left them completely overwhelmed and utterly confused! What the heck did you say to them?
B: Well, all I did was open up their eyes! *laughs* Hey, I'm not feeling so good... Let's go home.

After saying so, he turns away to hide a tear... Because he knows that there is no woman in the world who would love unconditionally. Especially not with him. They have too much to lose. He understands why and he accepts it... Women don't want to get hurt because some men give them high expectations... So much of hope that they are afraid of being hurt or dissapointed by them... It'll be better to avoid men like that... Find a simpler fellow and settle down, right? But is less hurt more gain? Will you really be happy?

He leaves without speaking to the girl that his friend initially challenged him to dance with. Not a word. Not even a glance. For he knew deep in his heart that this girl is the type of girl he likes... He would fall head over heels in love with her... His friend knew this too. To be turned down or hurt by a girl like that would be too much to take... A smile from her would lift up his spirit... A tear from her eyes would cause him to tear out his heart... A look of disgust from her would utterly destroy his soul. Because of his fear, he went home. Even though his heart stayed with her...

She turns around and looks at him as he walks out the door. She was waiting to be noticed. Even though she didn't make any obvious attempts at his attention... Her body language spoke louder than words: She sat right in his line of sight & she faced her body towards him. Yet when she thought she had finally had his attention, he gave it to two other girls instead. And when he was done with them, he just packed up and left. She cursed under her breath. She cursed herself for feeling attracted to him... She cursed herself for being weak... But underneath it all, she knew that he was the type of man she liked and she was really broken because he didn't even look at her...

Friday, April 18

MTCP Cultural Afternoon (April 2008)

On Monday I was once again MC for a large scale IPBA event.
This time it was for the MTCP Cultural Afternoon.
My partner was a shy Nishya who was uncomfortable at first but, half-way through the event, she picked herself up & ended the event with great confidence. Because of that, I think she did really well as an MC that day & will continue to do so in future events.

MTCP = Malaysian Technical Cooperation Programme
The MTCP participants are professionals in the education system from select countries around the world brought to Malaysia, given a hefty allowance, sent on tours around Malaysia & of course, made to attend a fun & simple course on the latest English language teaching research.
They were a group of 25 ppl that originated from countries like Bhutan, Kosovo, Oman, Sudan & Philipines.
And last Monday, they had to present an aspect of their cultures to the students & lecturers of IPBA.

giving a last minute briefing before the event begins
to minimise confusion
God had in store for me something to learn from this event...
From the very beginning there was a conflict between the organisers...
It was initially a student headed event but a lecturer suddenly took over...

When he come in, he took over & made the show his show. He didn't ask permission from the student organisers & he overruled student opinions without much consideration. Because of this, he offended many of the students who have actually already put a lot of thought into the event. This caused every students involved to be demoralised. Many grudgingly consented to his demands while others left the team.

Perhaps it was not totally his fault. When he came in & took over, the student organisers were in a state of shock. When he rejected their ideas & bossed people around, the students got offended. The students were unforgiving, vengeful & silent about it. They were unwilling to stand up against him & confront him by defending their thoughts and ideas. They resorted to feeling bad about it & being resentful.

Because of his one-man-showness & the students' resentment, the planning of the event fell apart. Students were reluctant to attend rehearsals, none of the students knew the flow of the presentations until an hour before the event begins & there was a lot of confusion about how things should be done. Nerve racking indeed.

As for me, I was just an MC so I didn't have any problems with following the lecturer's demands...
However, I was soon torn between two sides...
There was a conflict of interest of whether, as an MC, to follow the apparent leader of the event or, as a friend, to join the students in their unhappiness & grumbling...

I couldn't choose between them, so in the end I went neither way...
I chose to be professional.
I sympathised with my friends while maintaining my enthusiasm as it was necessary for an MC.
I was civil & confident in voicing my opinions, even though it conflicted with the lecturer's, and I was firm when defending my decisions, even though the lecturer tried to change it.
In the end, both sides accepted the way I wanted to do my part of the event & my part went really well.

introducing the MTCP participants
accompanied by some "clean" hot HipHop music in the background

Although there were some difficulties pre-event-wise...
The event was good & everyone put in an effort.
There was also something really really good during the event!
A special thanks goes out to the supportive & overwhelmingly vocal crowd!
Even though the cultural presentations were somewhat ordinary, you cheered, sang along & clapped as if it were a rock & roll concert!
You made the event happening!!
This is probably the effect of not making the event complusory; ensuring that those that were there actually wanted to be there.

Here's a pat on the back for the crowd!
And a hug for my friends!
As well as a handshake for the lecturer!
Next event please!

Sunday, April 13

Our Three Kittens

In a previous post, I told the story of an abandoned and pregnant female being accepted into my apartment & cared for by my housemates.
She gave birth to 5 kittens.
However, she soon became a threat to the welfare of her kittens...
She never let go of her old partying ways... not even for her children... she was constantly out late looking for one night stands, feeding scavanged food to the kittens & bringing back fleas.
She was even eating the food we allocated for the kittens!
She is as bad a parent as Britney Spears is!
**tisk **tisk

After the kittens were old enough to have solid food, we decided to break the bold between mother & child.
2 weeks ago, the mother left for her usual "night out" & we prevented her from coming in.
She hasn't returned since & the children have became stronger.
Not long after that, they stopped depending on their mother's milk & started to adapt to the quality food Nas, my housemate, provides.
However, the cost of caring for them will only increase as they grow...

Last week, we promoted our initiative to give the kittens away for adoption.
However, we had a few conditions...
Anyone intending to adopt any of the kittens will have to:
- neuter the kitten
- feed it cat food, not leftovers
- get a litter box & clean up after them
- care for them like you would your own child

It has been a week & surprisingly there was very little response.
Previously when Nas was paying & taking care of the kittens, everybody wanted them.
Someone even tried to steal one of them!
But I guess noone wanted the actual responsibility of caring for the kittens...
All they wanted was just the fun & games...

Today, 2 of the 5 kittens were taken to SPCA to be given up for adoption.
The 3 remaining kittens were adopted by 3 members of my apartment.

Short Tail was adopted by Nas

WuNan was adopted by Nesa

I adopted Shadow!!
She's the most adorable of the lot!
She's laid back & submissive...
She'll let you do anything to her!
You can hold her in your arms, put her on your lap & even push her around!

Me loves Shadow!!

Wednesday, April 9

When Did I Become So Needy?

taken from celebrity.com.au

I need a woman in my life
her touch embrace
the smell of her hair
the twinkle in her eyes
the warmth in her arms

the intimacy of intercourse
dancing with each other
breathing sighs of pleasure
tantric as we join together

I want her to touch me & mean it
I want her to kiss me & mean it
I want her to enjoy me & mean it
I want her to love me & mean it

I need a woman so much
yet unable to settle for just any of such
I need to know that she's my soul
One look is all it takes

I am incomplete
I am needy
I am searching, yearning
I am a man without his woman

Friday, April 4

City of koko'

Today I discovered a website, My Mini City, with a very cute idea!
What you do is you create your own city & promote it to your friends.
You dont get to control what goes on in your city nor can you build anything in your city.
The development of the city is totally out of your control.
The city develops as people visit the website of your city.

And so I created City of koko'
Visit it at: city-ofkoko.myminicity.com

Do visit once a day to help the city grow!

Thursday, April 3

Visit To An Award-Winning School

Today I paid a visit to an award-winning sm@rt school as a field trip for my Professional Development course.
This school is a sm@rt school that was awarded sekolah cemerlang & sekolah harapan negara in 2007 & is therefore one of the best schools in Malaysia!

I say, what a brilliant idea to send us to this school to expose us to an excellent school's way of doing things!

The B.Ed.TESL Cohort 2 Secondary-School-Teachers-to-be got on 2 buses & left KL for Putrajaya early in the morning.

After arriving at the school, were taken to a large meeting room where we were shown an impressive multimedia presentation, produced by LimKokWing University, on the school's profile.
It was followed by a very disappointing automated PowerPoint presentation, on the school's achievements, which was very obviously needs to improve their choice of accompanying music & color coordination.

Then, there was a Q&A session where I asked the heads of the school to sum up, in a phrase, what a school like their's expects from their teachers and then elaborate on the phrase. The vice-principal answered, "Excellent in all aspects!" She laughed and then moved on to the exchange of mementos without elaborating.

After that, we were given a tour of the school. We also observed a few English Literature classes.

We had a packed lunch of Nasi Lemak Ayam & bottled drinking water.
It was compulsory for us to pay RM3 for it even though some of us chose not to eat it.

All through the visit, I was handling Hadi's camera.
I took pictures of everything & anything...
Until the battery ran out...
Oh well! I had my fun!

Some of my friends said that the trip was a waste of time.
The classes that we were taken to incorporated ICT (Information Communication Technology, a fancy term to mean they use computers, internet, projectors, Microsoft Office, etc).
However, we observed the same old teaching methods we experienced in our high school days.

The only difference is...
This time, instead of chalk & talk, it's click & talk!
The blackboard was replaced with Microsoft Word.
The textbook was replaced with MS PowerPoint.
There was no group work.
There was little innovation observed.
As a result, the students seemed bored & weren't ready to contribute in class.

I would have so easily agreed with my friends that it was a depressing thing to see such a good school practicing such dinosaur techniques. However, I was constantly REFLECTING...
As I observed the school, the teachers, the vice-principal, the MC & the students, I constantly asked myself questions...

What is the content, the objectives & the teacher's principles, philosophy & pedagogy?
What can I use from the teaching of this lesson in my own teaching?
How can I improve the lesson?
How can I make the lesson more student-centred?
How can I make the lesson more interesting?
How can I engage the students' thinking?

Nonetheless, I gained a lot from this experience & there is definitely much that needs to be done in our schools.

Let's put the bang back into learning!

Tuesday, April 1

IPBA's 2008 English Language Day

Today I was MC for both the opening & the closing ceremonies for the International Languages Teacher Training Institute's 2008 English Language Day.

The opening ceremony was a breeze because I wrote the script & it was my natural way of describing things & leading the progression of a ceremony.
But that only brings me half way...
To really have a natural & smooth MC performance, I need a partner with the same desire for wit & spontaneity...
We need to have chemistry!
And I had all the chemistry I needed and more!
Aimi, I'm a better man when I'm with you!

However, the closing ceremony was the direct opposite.
It was challenging & it really pushed my ability as a Master of Ceremony to its limits.
I only got to know that I had to take this role the day before.
I had less than 24 hours to look through the script, written by someone else, and personalise it.
I did not attend any rehearsals, so I had no idea what was going to happen during the ceremony.
I wasn't familiar with my partner & I did feel like I was committing adultry against Aimi... hehe...
Furthermore, I needed to be very flexible because during the ceremony, there were many last minute changes & notifications.
There were instances where I had to come up with clever lines on the spot.
What a challenge!
I'm so thankful I did so well...

I've finally learnt to appreciate challenges today...
If I had just done the opening ceremony, I'd think that I'm a good MC just because I did not face any difficulty.
Now I realise what a delusion that would have been!
You are a good MC when you rise up and prove yourself under pressure & under difficulty.
Some people complain about difficulty...
I hope I will have a different oppinion the next time I face a difficulty.

And yes, I admit I made a mistake during one of my made up lines...
The DVD was on last year's MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM production...
not Romeo & Juliet...
My apologies...

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