Sunday, March 20

I Give Up On Relationships?

This may or may not surprise you but I've only had a few relationships in my life.
Of course, I do flirt... a lot... but I never let things go beyond words.
I will only go for someone that I really like & I don't get one just for fun.
I'm not greedy neither, I will wait for the 1 girl that is potentially the be all & end all.
When I'm in a relationship, I don't say it enough but I really feel & care deeply for the other person.
I take relationships very seriously & I am willing to carry it to my grave.

taken from
This is what I want... A partner to share life with.
Then again, all of my relationships have failed for one reason or another.
After the end of my last relationship, I decided to pour myself into my work.
I spent extra time with the students, made extra ambitious plans & poured my love into the school.
I wanted to make something of myself & see how far I could progress.
To a certain extent, my busyness was able to distract me from my loneliness.

You know, everything happens for a reason.
A few days ago, I paid a surprise visit to a near stranger & took her out to lunch.
During the few hours with her, she reminded me of all the good things about women.
I felt a familiar stirring in my heart that I had buried with logic & ignorance.

A few days later, I found myself staring out of a window at a park full of children & families leisurely spending time together.
I found myself imagining & fantasising about my future family once again.
It's not entirely unpleasant. It was in fact, very much warm & fuzzy.
I found myself wondering who she will be & what my children will be like.

taken from
When you see families doing family things, do you feel something in your heart?
I do.
Whoever my partner is, I believe I'll meet her in time.
I won't hunt or hurry.
I will put my faith in God just like I have in many other areas of my life.
He knows what's best for me.
Hopefully, I will be able to read the signs & hints He puts up.

And as for that girl I surprised, she actually gave me an even bigger surprise.
Though nothing will become of us due to distance & time, she awakened something inside of me & reminded me about something very important.
For this, I thank her.

Tuesday, March 15

Leadership Camp, Kuching, KL & Johore

I'm somewhat jaded. After a long & tiring period at work as well as staying for about 5 weeks in the jungle without returning to civilisation, I was at the brink of insanity.
The mid-semester holiday brings a welcome change of pace as well as a revitalising homecoming to the big city.
But first, I have to discipline myself to spend a weekend with a select group of students & a few other unfortunate teachers running our school's Leadership Camp for the prefects, monitors & PRS.

Although they are comparatively easy to mould, these simple folk need a lot of input, direction & many boys have ego issues. We managed to achieve a breakthrough with most. It is inevitable that some left in the same condition as they came.

The smiles here are deceptive. It's because we're celebrating the end of the camp & relishing the thought of FREEDOM! HOHOHOHOHO~~~

During these long days & long nights of brainwashing, character-building, team-building, yelling, pushing, breaking & feeling a cocktail of emotions about the students, I've learned a significant lot about how to shape a character during camp. Mostly because this time around, I'm actually conducting stuff & leading instead of looking at everything through the lens of an impossibly costly shutter device.
You have to say things that are catchy, smart, twisted, funny, logical, morally correct & brain-washy at the same time.
We've shaped a few leaders during the camp & we've found a few good ones which we will continue to invest ourselves in as time goes by.
My hope is that they will one day become somebody big & in return come back to this backward place to lift up their own stubborn people.

Anyway, I'm currently savouring my second day of holiday.
Yesterday, I did all that I needed to do so that today I could lavish myself with that which has eluded me for too long... guess... it starts with the letter S... No, it's not sex... but SLEEP!
It's absolutely refreshing to sleep all day!
Aren't you jealous?

Tomorrow, I'll be flying to KL & staying at TuneHotels.
I plan to spend 2 days in KL. I want to catch up with several awesome people there & I want to get some interior deco from IKEA & such. I'm also in the hunt for a perfect tie-pin. Looked in Kuching, Sibu & Penang. Now, the search continues in KL.
After I get a tie-pin, I promise to get a few more ties & wear a tie like a good teacher should.
If I fail, I will get one in Bandung in June as well as an assortment of ties & shirts to match.
How gay can I get? huhu~~

On Friday, I'll be hitching a ride either with Rachel (12am) or Nas (2pm) to Batu Pahat, Johore, for a B2M2B reunion party!
Looking forward to catching up & partying with the boys! WOOOO!!!

Saturday, March 5

The Perfect Wife

I'm sure there was a time in your life when you were so naive to think that you could write down a shopping list for the perfect spouse & bring it around with you; checking it off with every guy or girl you knew.
Who knows, you might have a match & then be happily married, right?
hahaha~~ Childhood. Good times.

Well, if I were to ever list down what I want in a woman or what a perfect wife would be, there's one person I know who would fulfil the check-list to the dot.
She's pretty, fashionable, thrifty, confident, photogenic, friendly, sporty, sporting, accommodating, smart, creative, multi-talented, hard-working, ambitious, determined, idealistic, altruistic, highly considerate, generous, laughs at my jokes even when I think it's lame, religious, VERY PATIENT, naughty, nasty, tasty, angelic, virginal and many more!
Most importantly, she can cook, clean, sew, make her own money & she's very respectful to her parents.

taken from
She has really built herself up into a superbly wonderfully perfect wife.
But she was not to be mine. sigh~~~
This post is dedicated to you... wherever you are...

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