Silhouette

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During my school experience in Clyde Quay School, i had the privilage of observing a peotry writing lesson.

The exercise: Finish a peom starting with "as the moon wakes".

I decided to write one too...
tell me wad u think!
=)

--------------------------------------------

As the moon wakes, all is silhouette
The lady is red appears in my head
I cant see her face but know does my heart
her beauty and grace is beyond disgrace

Oh do I long for beauty and grace
Oh how I desire to adore her face
Yet glimpses i get as short as a breath
of beauty and grace beyond disgrace

Her shiny hair flows like the oceans
Her glowing skin excites like a flame
You beckon for me yet meet we cannot
For all is silhouette, the girl of my dreams...

Comments

  1. ethan20/11/06 13:32

    man you sounded like Shakespeare!
    nice poem :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. LaiNe20/11/06 16:29

    Heya, it's great to have a common passion : ) Just let me know when you wanna meet up. I realise that although we are both heading to OZ around the same time for the holidays, our itinerary are total opposites.

    On a different note, I am starting my practical at Northland Kindergarten tomorrow for three weeks (unpaid) but I am sure the time spent with these children will be worth it.

    Have an awesome holiday!

    ReplyDelete
  3. .:alin~yussuff:.21/11/06 06:30

    ohhh..you have got..huurrmmm..

    -repitition
    -rhyme
    -simile
    -free structure..no word order..
    -personafication
    -metaphor

    what else? hurmm..

    *hv just had a session on poetry*

    nice one, by the way..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous22/11/06 00:12

    WOW... THAT'S BEAUTIFUL!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. gorgeous rev22/11/06 05:53

    when are u gonna write a poem to me? lol

    it's a beautiful poem dude!

    ReplyDelete
  6. J22/11/06 15:49

    I'll be blowed! Golly! That came from you? :)

    It's mysterious. It's beautiful. I mean it.


    J

    ReplyDelete
  7. ah^kam koko'22/11/06 22:04

    Thanks for the encouragement, guys!
    =)

    I really feel flattered & i shall write more...

    p/s: I shall write u a poem for ur birthday, Rev...
    =)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jessica23/11/06 20:00

    It's a nice one though I know nothing about writing poem. Does this apply to the Chinese girls you met in the club too? *WiNK*

    ReplyDelete
  9. Farah Azmi24/11/06 15:39

    beautiful~
    i always adore ppl who cn write poem ... cos think i dun hv the talent... huhu keep on writing koko'!~

    ReplyDelete
  10. ah^kam koko'25/11/06 10:11

    thanks, Jess!
    thanks, Fa!

    but i dun think it applies to any girl...
    it applies to a girl...
    the girl of my dreams...
    =)

    ReplyDelete
  11. assassin`27/11/06 11:38

    awesome mate....

    a great poem...

    write moreeeeeeee~

    ReplyDelete
  12. ah^kam koko'28/11/06 21:27

    thanks, Nick!
    =)

    ReplyDelete
  13. FunksTer2/1/08 18:15

    interesting post u have there!

    cheers mate!

    ReplyDelete
  14. ah^kam koko'3/1/08 14:34

    glad you like it...
    i do too...
    =D

    ReplyDelete

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