To Girls Who Want To 'Make Friends' With Men

Just last week I experienced the shameful attempt of ah beng in pursuing a 'lady'.
Today, I saw a reversal of roles.
My Indian housemate, Guna, has been harassed by the sister of an Indian student from the school he did his practicum at.
She has been sending him loads of sms, making loads of intentional missed calls & actual calls.
This has been going on for quite some time already.
Guna has been able to ignoring her even though she is persistent in her demand for affection.
I admire his patience.

Today, her actions got on my nerves.
I was trying to relax & watch a really good movie in my quiet room with my friends.
Everything was good until it was rudely interrupted by the ringing of a phone. Guna's.
It was her. Another one of her intentional missed calls.
The silence after that was a welcome one which was gratefully used to enjoy the movie.
But she miss called again.
And again. And again. And again.
I was pissed.

Soon her rude interruptions turned into an actual call.
Which I gladly answered for Guna.
I never thought that I would ever have my dialogue with a lady inspired by ah bengs...
Yet that was exactly how I fashioned my speech when I answered the phone.

Picture taken from

The following is the exact dialogue:
(Me in red; Sister in brown)
*in a rough ah beng style* Hahloh!
*confused* Healo?
Who is this?
*a very surprised Indian* HAH??
*realising my English was too standard for an ah beng* Who dis?
*silence* .....
Wai yooooo kip calling my fon? HA?

She hung up after that...

And never called ever since!
Peace at last!
For Guna... & for me!

To girls who want to 'make friends' with men.
Forcing your way & harassing will not win any hearts.
Leave this horrendous feat to men who have got no taste (exp: ah bengs).
You should be more graceful, refined & demure than men are.
That is what we will love you for!
Never bring yourself down to our level.
If you act like a guy, we will treat you like a guy!

To win a man's heart, you have to do it without him realising it.
You have to wrap him around your fingers but make him think that he was the one who wants to do so.
Make him think that he is in control.
Always remember this law.
Cleverly feed his pride & he will like you.

The next step is a tougher one.
Do not use your body as bait because the fire that consumes both of you will die out as quickly as it has risen.
But in other ways, concede to his wills & his desires.
Listen carefully when he speaks to you for his words can be used to win his heart.

Listen to his dreams. Support him.
Listen to what he likes in a woman. Show him that you can be such a woman.
Listen to his interests. Do what he likes to do.
Listen to his activities. Follow him to some of it.
But always give him the option of saying no to you.
And even though he cancels at the last minute, smile & say its ok.

It is more difficult to pursue a guy because once he gets a little hint of your intentions, he will be immune to all your subtle advances.
Remember that men are men & they like women to be women.
Try your best to be the best woman you can be & you will find that getting a guy to like you will not be too hard.
Stay positive & do not be afraid of heartbreak!


  1. Thanks for the favor Jarod. A friend in need is a friend indeed. You just proved it. Good tips on getting guys there. Sure girls will benefit from them

  2. it's always irritating when someone do something like that. i hate it too... its good on what you did. i think women must always just be themselves and don't act someone else when they're not with the guy they love. cos i think wants a woman to be themselves and not someone else right?

  3. Hey I haven't popped by ur blog for ages. Still as awesome writing as ever, made me go look at all your older posts, lol.. I'm sorry to say that me and my friends were guilty of teasing each other about male teachers too, back in high school, interesting to know hear about it from the teacher's perspective, hehe..take care! -Fi-

  4. I like the last piece of advice: Do not be afraid of heartbreak.
    Yup! You are right.

  5. hi ...
    the girl is really "smart" ...
    how did she managed to get his number ...

    she really made us ( female living things ) feel shame lah ...
    sigh ...

  6. ...blinking wishfully at the sky, wondering how much of those desired traits I have fulfilled.


  7. Guna:
    Yup, you should forward my blog to that girl who harassed you!

    I guess women can follow their dreams & desires but they should always remember what makes them uniquely women.

    Fiona & Aini:

    Nah, I was just tighter with my personal details.

    Wouldn't you want to know...

  8. Make him think that he is in control.
    Always remember this law.
    Cleverly feed his pride & he will like you.

    Listen to his dreams. Support him.

    But in other ways, concede to his wills & his desires.
    Women are not a class below you. Why put all that effort if he's not even an inch interested in you? I'll be ashamed if any woman uses this method in today's world. It's so degrading...

    And why does it sound like today's men are encouraged to play the hard to get game?

  9. ShinYi:
    Indeed they are~~

    Look at it this way...
    If men want to get the attention of women, they do thier best to accomodate to the woman to win her heart.

    If a woman wants to get a man's attention, why cant she do the same or something similar?
    Just because she is a woman doesnt mean that she can get any man she wants without trying.

    I am giving insight into the weaknesses of men here more than I am encouraging women to lower themselves.
    I am trying to empower women with some common sense that they may have lost trying so hard to be the equal of men!

  10. There is an obvious clash of thoughts and theories here. I am not saying that your recommendation is wrong; if it works for others, well done! If it fails miserably, I know why.

    My stand on getting attention from the opposite sex is just be yourself and let everything flow naturally. I'm not saying that you should not put any effort in it, just minimal effort is needed to gain one's attention.

    I may just be a couple of years older than you but my experience (as a woman who never fail to get attention from the opposite sex when needed)has given me an insight on what works well and what doesn't.

    If what I think and what I recommend to other girls is redundant, I wouldn't have so many of them come back to me with stories of success.

  11. And now you have something to write on your blog!

  12. Ophelia has got a good point; in order for a relationship to work out in the best interest of both parties, both the man and the woman ought to be allowed to be themselves. Pretending to care or to be supportive of what your man does will only build false hopes, destined to crash sooner or later. And this goes the same for the man as well.

    I think what Jarod has written is applicable to both sides of the camp. But the effort has to be sustained, not just for the first few years of the relationship, but through the many years to come.

    Women need not be cunning to snag a man or to keep an existing man happy. We don't have to blindly concede to anyone's desires, but learn to give and take. My experiences with men have taught me that it is easier to build a strong, honest relationship when we focus more on how to make the relationship a happy one instead of being bitter about our man's expectations of us.

    All the best to us women!

  13. A well written comment~~

    But I stand by what I have written...
    From the way a woman flirts with a man, it might just be what women do unknowingly~~

  14. Way to go Guna. He needs to learn to dump a girl himself la.. but the experience he got from u is a priceless one

  15. hehehe~~
    And it was sure funny too!


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