To All The Little Boys Wanting To 'Make Friends' With Girls

This is a hand phone.
Man's best & worst tool.

To all the little boys (or even some men) out there who want to make friends with girls or women:
It is utter disrespect to the lady!!
SMS is such a cheap sleazy way to make a first impression!
If you want to make a friend & cannot do it face to face, at least have the courtesy or balls to call the lady & be your honest self.

When you do call, you dont need any smart or clever lines to impress the girl...
Just prepare a few topics that could be of mutual interest.
A good conversation or honest discussion is more than good enough!
The girl evaluates you through the honesty you put into the conversation...
She needs to know that she can trust you before she gives you anything!

If she says that she doesnt want to talk, remember to be POLITE.
If she says no to a date with you, remember to also be POLITE.
Say that you understand & you appreciate her answering the call.
Then, say thank you & wish her a good life.
Finally, hang up, reflect & get a move on with your life.

Last night, I was watching a movie & chilling at home after a long busy week.
Just when the movie got interesting, I received an sms.
I was 'ah beng' & he was attempting to hit on me. SERIOUSLY.
I replied of course. I revealed that I also possessed a penis & I was not interested in befriending another sausage.
However, this young man (who was convinced that I was female) was relentless in pushing the idea of making 'friends' with me!

Here are the EXACT sms sent & received:
(ah beng in brown; ah kam in red)
Who is this?
Z.. What's ur name.. Just want 2 n0e whose num is ths.. N i don't where did i get ur num.. Tht's why i'm asking.. :)
I'm a freaking guy, dude.
You're barking up the wrong tree.
Really? Juz want 2 get 2 n0e u.. Tht's all.. Btw, hw freak? Juz kddn'..
You want to make a friend?
Give me a call.
SMS is so high school dude.
Call? I'm n0t int0 makn' a call.. I'm an sms-type pers0n..
Bro. This will be my last sms.
So let me give u a free tip.
You want to impress a girl, give her a call n be honest.
Good night n take care!

Just when I thought that was the last I'd hear from him...
This morning a friend of his called my phone & asked for an 'ah kuang' in a really rough ah beng manner.
I guess they needed to confirm my sausageness.

How did I know that they were associates?
They both had Sarawak numbers.
**shakes head in disgust & embarassment**


  1. hahahhaa...
    Jarod...'real Men' are from Sarawak...
    You are attracting guys now...

  2. hi ...
    i don't get it ...
    are you into ladies or men ...
    jk ...
    nowadays lah ...
    saying i love you to a person ...
    face to face is awkward lah ...
    sms is more preferable loh ...
    more in a bit mah ...

  3. he might be a gay. lol...

  4. no offence, to him, though :)

  5. sarawak guys... memang liddat. Majority tak bley pakai. SIGH SIGH.

  6. hahahahahahaah! this is so hillarious!! can't believe you layan this guy!

    but you are spot on! making friends through sms does not show sincerity at all! certainly does not impress me!

    ~sigh~ i wish there are more men like you out there. *poh lin goes hunting*

  7. teacher y u say make friend with girl?
    but u r talking about boy woh!
    haiz! confusing!
    yea!teacher u also from sarawak wat!

  8. There were many times in my life where guys SMSed me in horrible English - trying their luck to get me. I never replied - it was just too disgusting.

  9. Glad you told me of this incident before posting this story. Im munching on murukku now and would totally choke laughing if you didnt tell me earlier. Hahaha.

    To all little boys out there, dont try to pick up girls using SMS. You may end up stepping on the wrong toes of someone who 'possesses a penis & is not interested in befriending another sausage.'

    Best quote of the week!

  10. wuah!!..
    good tips arr....
    i guess datz y datin wants u 2 bcme hr 'DATUK'..


  11. Guna:
    Well, Guna...
    God has a way of balancing things...
    Kuching produces the real men & also a few unreal men.
    I just encountered one.

    p/s: He assumed that I was a girl playing hard to get. He assumed wrong.
    He wasnt attracted to me la~ He was attracted to the girl he thought I was.

    SMS may be easy.
    But as you grow up & build up your experience in boy girl relationship, you will find that the easy way may not always be the best way.
    It is distasteful & very disrespectful to the woman.

    p/s: I am into ladies.

    He was obviously not gay.
    Gay men in Malaysia are mostly refined & sophisticated.
    They usually approach with more intelligence & skill.
    And they WILL call.

    I'm not sure about that...

    I hope that men will start reading my blog & learn to refine themselves!

    Thanks for leaving a comment.
    Perhaps the language I use here is a little too complex for you to understand.
    Ask a friend with better English to explain to you what I have written.

    My girlfriend had to change her number because too many mamats were calling her or smsing her & making complete fool of themselves!
    You should be thankful you escaped!

    If you choke on a muruku, I might have to come over & give you CPR!!


  12. yeah ...
    you got try that before meh ?
    then got girls reject you after you sms them lah ...
    jk ...

  13. this is rather funny! hahaha Whre the heck did he got ur no. anyway? ahh perhaps he's one of your many fans (?) ;)

    ps- I totally agree wit you. Women deserve some respect.. men shud read up, and learn from Ah Kam!

  14. Vio:
    I have never sms-ed prospective girls whom I have not met.
    I would make my first impression before sms-ing.
    I would introduce myself with more socially acceptable or amiable means.

    I cant remember being rejected but, if I did, I'd move on.
    There are many other lovable women in the world.

    I doubt that he even knows me.
    His English is so broken & he is so ah beng that I dont think that he can even use the internet for something other than searching friendster for young girls to prey on!

    I hypothesise that he asked for the phone number of a girl he met & she gave him a random one.
    Or he asked someone else for the number of this girl & somehow he got mine.

  15. har! means my english very bad lah!
    gosh u say me like that!
    but i surrender my english is very bad!
    haha! i go n ask shinyi! hihi!

  16. I didnt say that your English is bad.
    I was just saying that I may have made this post complex with my connotations & sentence structures.

    Anyway, it is good to ask a friend to help explain something that you do not understand.

  17. Ohmygosh... I just read this post and every dude in Malaysia should freaking read this! I've had ti face so many of guys trying to make friends thru SMS or worse... FB or MSN chat. You're right. It's freaking disrespectful and insulting. Why can't the guy call if he really wants to get to know the girl?

    I mean, I'm not going to totally shut a guy off before I've gotten to know him properly. But then... if the guy is making the move, at least la take the initiative to follow thru. SMS or chat is just cheap. Like you can't even afford a phone call. I've dropped hints before to guys who do that, like "Hey, I'm kinda running low on credit." And they STILL sms back AND EXPECT ME TO REPLY. It's freaking wasting my credit and my time when you're not even bothered to get to know me properly!!!

    And you know what that REALLY says about a guy? It says that he's not that sincere or earnest to get you. He's just trying to cover his bases, trying not to put all his eggs in one basket, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that he's probably doing the same thing to a dozen other girls at the same time in the hopes that one of them will layan him. Sheesh.

    And just to add one more thing guys should know. Even if you DO take the effort to call a girl and she's not interested, don't keep going on and on and making it impossible for the girl to tell you nicely that she doesn't want to talk to you. Is "I'm kinda busy now" not enough of a hint?! Yet some guys STILL didn't get it and after 15 mins of rolling my eyes (yes that's what we'll do to guys who are being a PAIN) I had to tell guys straight up that "Hey, I can't talk to you right now. Bye."

    It's not that girls always wanna be mean or whatever, but take a hint la. Seriously.

    Anyways... just wanted to say that your post is really relevant and totally spot on. =)

  18. Yeap...
    This post is so spot on that it reaffirms the belief of many of my friends that I may be a gay man acting hetero.

  19. That would be such a pity and a waste... to the entire female species, I mean. To the gay community, well... I have no comment. Lol..,

  20. haha~~
    Thanks for the compliment!


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