How Many Mosqitoes Do You Kill In One Week?

I absolutely hate mosquitoes.
There is no insect in the world I hate more than the buzzing little pest that discreetly sucks your blood & after satisfying her lust, leaves a "Mozzie's wuz here" on your skin for you to scratch on. (No sexual innuendo intended.)
I loathe them. But they love me.
Seriously, I'm the mozzie magnet. My friends would sit close to me so that the mozzies will bypass them & suck on me instead.
I've always wanted to be a chick magnet but it seems I've attracted the females of the wrong species.

Whenever I see one of them flying around, I get into a frenzy.
I'd get into a clapping position & home in on these b**tards like a missile.
I'd clap away until I've killed at least one of them & then chase the others until they've escaped or I've squished every last of them.

One day, after killing 5 mozzies naked in the bathroom during an afternoon shower, I asked myself...
Who is actually winning the war?
How many mozzies do I kill in a week?
How many times do I get bitten in a week?
So I started counting 7 days ago.

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There's nothing more satisfying than taking the life of a mosquito.
Last week, I killed 15 of them. My best day was Monday (6 kills). My worst day was Saturday (0 kills).
Not too bad, eh?

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However, I was fighting a losing battle.
There was often too many of them for me to kill or repel. I was often overwhelmed.
I got bitten at least once every day (especially when I was sleeping! Sneaky b***tards!) for a total of 20 noticeable bites last week.
I got bitten the most on Tuesday (6 bites) when it rained & the mozzies woke up early to play.

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I asked God why He created mosquitoes & he just laughed.
Why wouldn't he?
I bet I look funny every time I stare seriously into empty space & get into that ridiculous clapping position.


  1. honestly, i hate them too! and this island is full of them. i had (and still having) sleepless nites because i was too busy slapping my own self and waking up with blood stain on my hands. gross.

  2. Anonymous15/8/10 12:00

    mozzies are bitches aren't they?
    they always attack my tapak kaki!

    and its sooooo painful. More painful and itchy than when they bite the other parts of your body.

    insect repellants won't help. the more i splat on my body, the more they come. i gave up and i use lotion instead. i read somewhere that mozzies are not attracted to bau wangi. it works on me and maybe it works on you too, jarod!

    soya! that is gross indeed! and u'll got bloodstains on your bedsheets as well. yuck!

    ah well, happy clapping guys!

  3. Anonymous15/8/10 12:09

    Eyew.... I have no problem with mosqui's - none at my house, doors and windows always closed.


    I remember there was one night when I couldn't sleep throughout the night because I was trying to strike at those irritating pests! AHHH!!! And the next few days I fell sick! >.<

  5. Just sharing something with you... I got connected to Sudarshan Kriya recently

    i started to add a few drops to my bathing water regularly n among the other good side effects are that mozzies seem to not like me so much now. u can buy enzymes at the central market in Sibu too for a nominal sum if u r curious enuf to try :D.

  6. Lol!! France don't have mozzies!! :P I remember back in IPBA my roomie and I used to play this game called "cabut kaki nyamuk". Everytime a mosquito pass/bit us, we will slap those crazy little bastards, put on the study table and cabut their kakis.. Hehehe!!

  7. gosh bro, i would know how it feels. the last time i was at Permai Beach, Kuching.. almost died of blood loss.. lol... anyways, have u tried the lemon grass bath gel from Guardian pharmacy? according to them it works.. but i was in KL when i found it and well, i live on the 7th flr and ter weren't much mossie around.. give it a shot :P


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