Monday, August 14

Dont It Feel Good 2 Express Urself?

My first test was on the night right after i got back from camp...

I was busy on my computer catching up with wad went on online while i was gone, reading blogs, commenting, friendster & etc...

When a neighbour came in to my room & proceeded to make stupid/vulgar jokes & use me for some of those jokes.
I laughed & joined in at first but I stopped participating after a while because it was getting lame & nonsence was not my cup of tea...
Then, he redecorated my carpet with fragments of chips tat he accidently spilled.

The drama happened soon after that...
Nesa said, "sorry Jarod I'll clean it up."
I said, "It's ok mate..."
I looked at my neighbour, at the mess, said his name, stopped, turned around & let out a big sigh...
Then i focused my attention to my laptop.

But my neighbour saught to provoke me even more...
He said, "You know.. I hate it when ppl wana say things bt dont... Wad u wana say Jarod?"
I said, "wad? it makes no difference... the rubbish will still be there..."
He said, "i hate it when ppl r like tat... wad u wana say? Say it to my face..."
Then i gt angry & i let myself loose...
I pointed at the mess while constantly raising my voice saying, "Bro, next time becareful when you do things! Becareful when u eat chips in my room! Also becareful with the words you say man... stop crapping you fucker!"
He responded, "whoa... why u curse at me? hey, u go to church... u shudnt curse..."
I said with a defeated voice, "yeah, ur right... sorry... i shudnt hav cursed at u..."
He responded, "it's ok man... see? dont it feel good when you express urself? huh?"
I said, "nah... it only makes me more & more angry & it wont change things..."
He said, "nah, bro.. u shud express urself more... u feel better man."

There was no fault in his reasoning. He was absolutely right by saying that it feels good to let urself loose... get angry... beat sum1 up... kiss his butt... follow ur desires...

But why did i feel like i did such a wrong thing by lashing out at him?
After spending some time thinking & reflecting...
I found out tat my intentions were wrong.
I lashed out at him cz he hurt me a while ago wif his stupid jokes & i wanted to hurt him back using tat opportuniy...

Why was it wrong for me to wana return the favour?
It's not because i go to church..
It's not because the bible says i cannot..
It's because i live for more than myself..
I wana live a life tat is different...
A life tat means something more...
If i live only for myself... i am no different from anyone else...
Therefore, I shudnt hav one wad i did...

Sorry bro...
Forgive me...

James 1:2-4
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...