Courage

Posted on Monday, 6 August
Posted on Friday, 10 August
I often wonder if I should write about this. About a conspiracy against me & my organisation by someone within the organisation. Something wicked & malicious that has been allowed to fester & reign like a cancer. I guess everybody will have something to learn from this so I shall write about the issues without making identities known. This has been the primary reason for me to write 2 lengthy FB statuses in BM last week (as seen above) & the reason why my 2 years as Ketua Warden has been a complete nightmare & the worst years of my short career.

I want this person & his cronies to know that I know what he is up to & I am not afraid of him. I have always ignored his activities as long as they did not conflict with my work. I did not want a fight but he chose to pick one with me. All the time. The latest incident was the last straw. It was an act of war. A war that was forced upon me. Either I stand & fight or let his carnal desires & greed take over. I now have to fight against cunning & manipulation in a shadowy game unfamiliar to me. One thing I am familiar with is, in the end, good always triumphs.

From the bible, I learn that the devil comes dressed like an angel. Beautiful, clean, shining in glory, smiling & whispering sweet words. The more evil the demon, the more effort he puts into making his mask even more convincing. I remember not too long ago a person who gave me a lot of 'good' advice and he talked about all the 'good' things he wanted to do in the school. This person expressed a deep love for the students, constantly worried about them & wanted them to do well. Later I found out that he was just saying what I wanted to hear so he could use me or take something from me. If I did not let him, he would threaten me, disturb my work & eventually attack me.

Liars/manipulators often look harmless & they will maintain their innocence even after they have been compromised. Shout a lie loud enough, repeat it long enough & eventually people will think it is true.
The bible says that the devil is the father of all lies. When he wants something from you, he will tell you 101 of the noblest reasons why you should do it. He will make it seem that it will make the world a better place or something that will profit you. He knows how to push your buttons & he will sell the idea to you. Only after you actually do it, do you realise that you were tricked & he has profited in some way from your lack of foresight. In other words, he used me & I was ignorantly happy to be his bitch until I wisened up.

The bible also teaches me to judge a tree by its fruit. That is how you spot a false prophet. A good person will always do good things. He will do honest work, be generous & speak words that give life. A bad person will always do bad things no matter how hard he tries to justify it or dress it up or divert attention to another person's shortcomings. A bad person steals, lies, cheats, manipulates & colludes with birds of a feather. An evil person will sometimes do things that appear good when actually they are profiting from it in some twisted way!

You will definitely meet people like this in your service. They are masters of disguise who will appear to be on your side to you all the time. To your adversary, he will also appear on his side. He will make himself the hero of everyone by being two-faced with everyone. He will use your trivial disputes with each other against you while he profits from it. Divide & conquer. As long as you are fighting against each other, he can easily control all of you. Therefore, the ultimate question is how do you deal with people like this?

Initially, all good people will give him the benefit of the doubt. They will give in to his demands. As you give up more & more ground, eventually, he will demand something from you that is contrary to all that you believe in. This is when the devil stakes a claim for your soul.
You can give in again & again. Ending up lost, dejected & bitter.
You can join him & be his crony. You'll commit evil acts for him & recruit devils of your own.
You can egress. Give up all posts, wash your hands & watch powerlessly as he gets his way with your successor.
Or you can choose to hold your ground & fight for the supremacy of good and the freedom of your soul.

How do you fight without allowing this evil to corrupt your soul? Every day, I struggle with revenge clouding my judgement & anger demanding retaliation. Being exposed to evil = learning to be evil. I feel a dark hand creep into my heart. It is oh so tempting to satiate my desire for revenge & enjoy the satisfaction of sinking a knife into the flesh of my enemy as a 'fair' exchange. Is it right to return evil with evil? When has a war been beneficial to those who have taken part in it? When does a war actually end? War never ends. It just takes on different forms. After a few exchanges, we would have no idea why we were fighting in the first place.

I understand now that I am fighting a war of principles. I have to look beyond the obvious attempts at sabotage & realise that there is something higher going on here. If I give him a taste of his own medicine, he would have won. He would have succeeded in corrupting me & turning me into a more powerful version of him. No. I will not be of the devil. I must go beyond that. My actions must reflect a higher level of intellect. I must not bulge from my higher moral ground. My spirit will not be broken. Once I lose my spirit, he has won.

taken from lifevesting.com
I will continue to do what I am doing now because, even though I have suffered everything from public humiliation to false accusations for the past 2 years, I have been victorious. I have climbed every brick wall he has placed in my way & climbed out of every pit he threw me in. I will continue to be victorious. I will continue to do what I do as long as I am in a position to do it. Good is already triumphing. I may never be able to win him to the side of good but my actions will reverberate throughout the world & I will win more & more people to the good fight. In the end, good will triumph.

Comments

  1. ignore them....don't ever give up...as long as we're on the right path. once it is "scratching" our dignity, fight back. i've been through this...God is The Almighty...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want to ignore them but they do not want to ignore me. They are constantly testing me like the devil.
      I will be steadfast.

      Delete
  2. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. (Matthew 10:14)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Easier said than done! Leave by resignation? Not yet.

      Delete
  3. Matthew 10:16 comes to mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God put me here for a reason. This is where my lost sheep are & the devil is staking his claim over them.

      Delete
  4. Psalm 27:1 “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was actually quite afraid in the beginning & I often wondered what I did wrong. Then when I realised I was attacked because of money, I wisened up. Now, I will fight if I have to.

      Delete
    2. What? You were attacked because of money? Never heard that. Anyway, please be careful whenever involving money as my previous principal and ex-wardens were interrogated by SPRM due to misuse the asrama's money. No matter how, please take care. You still have supporters not only from your school but also others. :)

      Delete
    3. I'm not worried because I am not involved in any misuse. I only sign for what I have ordered & I am not making any commissions at all. I actually welcome an investigation. It is long overdue.
      Thanks for your support!

      Delete
  5. The Bible has taught you right. And I agree with the stand that you are taking. Good indeed WILL triumph.

    ReplyDelete
  6. If you can't beat them, join them. Sell them out without them even realising your ulterior motive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've had enough of ulterior motives. Now, it's just plain wisdom for me.
      When I leave this place, I want to leave with my head held high & my conscience truly clean.

      Delete
  7. ah..Katibas is not that heavenly after all. Jk. Your parents have brought your up into a righteous young man. By sharing this story out, we fresh graduates are mentally prepared for the challenges to come.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't consider myself righteous. I still have a lot to learn.
      I do hope that what I have shared here will be for good & learning. Not for accusations or causing hurt in retaliation.

      Delete
  8. You are the better person in this, Jarod. =) Proud of you. And you never fail to inspire! do you? :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I've been inspired by many others. Why not share a little bit of the magic? haha~~

      Delete
  9. Thoughts were kinda messed up lately.. till i read this post.. reminded me on a lot of things.. now i found the answer.. Many thanks!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. " And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

    For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

    What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:28-31)

    God is your judge, and if He is with you, no work of the enemy can prevail :) Keep holding on! You're an encouragement to many people.

    ReplyDelete
  11. nerghh.. i think i know him........

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your job is to NOT be like him. Be someone great & do something great with your life.

      Delete
  12. Dear Jarod, I have been following your blog for awhile now. I stumbled on it whilst googling for interior schools in Swak sometime back. You are such an inspiring teacher and eventho' there will be days when things look bleak and hopeless, I hope that it will never stop nor discourage you from giving your best. You are indeed a blessing to your students and I believe that maybe it's early days yet, but be assured that all your hardwork will not come to nought. One day they will do you proud.
    Anyway, I would just like to say that I am moved by this particular blogpost of yours and I would like to leave you with this inspiring message from Mother Teresa:

    “People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
    If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
    If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
    If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
    The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
    Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
    For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” ~ Mother Teresa.

    Keep the faith. Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the encouragement.
      Mother Teresa's words are really apt for my situation. Will put it on my wall.

      Delete
  13. GOd bless your heart... You know the devil never win... so keep on doing what you think is right.

    Psalm 37:25
    I was young and now I am old,
    yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
    or their children begging bread

    -genskie-

    ReplyDelete
  14. on a positive note, it's only during these times of trials that we learn that we are actually stronger than we think we are, so thank those who tested you (and still failed). i really admire your courage, continue to fight for what you believe in as you know God is always on your side, and so are we! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup. I became stronger as a result of this but I am no longer innocent. I have been horribly violated in the most mentally screwed up ways. Will need to do a lot of soul cleansing over Raya hols.
      Thanks again!

      Delete
  15. it is so politic in the teaching industry..
    They attack you because they fear you...
    Be strong and don't fall to their trap...
    Do the right thing but do it smartly.
    Now you know their tactics and should change your play strategy..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is actually politics in almost any workplace & any profession. Those that know how to milk the system gains the most from it.

      Delete
  16. The system in Malaysia has get so messyly corrupted due to leadership by example. I worked in project that the contractor was not interested to complete it but instead milking it from further government funding. There is absolute nothing that we can do. Either joining them to accomplish or quit. There are still a lot of good people around and yes, we quit, we quit the country. In Ausrtralia, we found Malaysian engineers working in the big cities and also the most remote desert. We are glad that we have left. We are rewarded well in term of monetoryterm as we easily make ten times more downunder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good on you for making it in another country. I wish you all the best.

      I can empathise with you because I did very recently consider quitting the country myself & moving on to greener pastures. Another country will have it's own nonsense but at least I'll be well-compensated for my troubles.

      However, after much study, consultation & reflection, I made the mad decision to stay & see what kind of a difference I can make in my country. Malaysia needs me & I love Malaysia. Problems will always exist. Money will always be elusive.

      But there is something that runs deeper & continues to drive me & give me meaning. I have many ideas & I see a lot of room for me to grow & create something of my own. I'll see where it takes me.

      I will make leaving a final option instead of making my country the final option.

      Delete
    2. I also think like you when I was young and it was a good motivation for me to move forward. When age catch up and when I am thinking of the future of my children, I have to make a decision.
      As a person who one through this, me experience told me that it will be lot easier if one is to settle in another country at a younger age. At older age, it will be more difficult to settle and lots of time your pass experience is not applicable.
      Can you imagine the children here go to school with no text book? The curriculum is fixed by the state but the implementation depended on the teacher. We have lengthy discussion with the teachers trying to understand what they learn in school. Primary school children are doing project like we do our work in the office. They do not learn fundamental basis as much as we do which we have to give them additional work at home to build up their foundation.

      Delete
    3. I don't blame you for going & I do agree that on many points Australia is a better place to raise a family. Your concern should be your children & leading them to a brighter future than you had. There is nothing wrong with that.

      My concern is leading other people's children towards a brighter future than their parents had. I embrace it wholeheartedly. I'm in the education system, let's see what I can do as the years go by.

      Delete

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