Single & Desperate
It's especially hard to accept your-single-self when your friends are getting married & having kids or you see people 'happily' married with kids on FB. The worst part of all is when you're out with your best buds & they are too busy with their girls to pay any attention to you. Seriously, bros before hos! Leave the beech at home!
Even for men, age does matter esp when it comes to how you are viewed socially. I do feel the pressure of society. I've had old ladies breathing down my neck about getting married & raising an eyelid whenever I say no when asked if I have a girlfriend. I love you & I know you're doing this because you love me but back off!! I am not about to get married & spawn just because of you & your simplistic ideas. In case you haven't read, divorce rates are rising in Malaysia. Marriage doesn't solve problems.
I don't want to be rushed & end up as a statistic. This is what I want:
YOU ARE NOT A ROBOT!
I want someone I can connect with at a deeper level. Someone who is similar to me but with enough differences to keep things interesting.
Physically: someone who likes the outdoors & takes care of nutrition & health.
Emotionally: someone who has a big heart & passionate about what she loves.
Spiritually: someone who loves God & wants to raise her family in a Godly way. Someone who is able to accept all the very silly & stupid things I do for my God.
Intellectually: someone who can see where I'm coming from & be smarter than me yet smart enough to make me think that I'm smarter. Yes, brainy chicks turn me on.
Socially: Someone who compliments me socially & is willing to stand by me through the ups & downs of my social/public life.
Why can't we be driven by our dreams & desires? Are we too afraid of getting disappointed? Again, fear.
Even though I have to wait, I don't mind. Good things come to those who wait.
I can't do it. I tried... very hard but I just can't get myself to touch let alone consume a fruit without the intention of paying for it.
I guess the #1 reason why I am still single is:
I am surrounded by hundreds of girls. Every day. But they are all too young for me. Besides, I wouldn't want to cross the student/teacher boundary.
Female teachers are rare & are guaranteed to have rings on their fingers. The same for female staff. Besides, I'm not a fan of workplace romance. I do not mix work with sex. There will be terrible terrible unforeseen circumstances.
Local women my age are out of town pursuing studies or working in urban areas. Those who stay behind are either very old, very young or not very bright.
I might not be able to pour myself into my work so much if I had a woman constantly demanding for my attention. I might even use my woman or family as an excuse to do less work like too many teachers do too often.
Being single frees me to do anything I want with my life & the possibilities are endless. At this moment, I'm working on a grand plan. One that I probably wouldn't even discover if I was too busy going goo goo gaga over a woman. You cannot imagine how much my grand plan has evolved throughout the years. If a woman were with me throughout the process, she would have been totally frustrated with me.
I am single & desperate but I am willing to wait. I am definitely not willing to go out of my way to find a woman. If I go out of my way to find one, I'd have to go out of my way to keep that one too, get it? I'm sorry but no woman is worth giving up my soul for. I will continue on the path I have chosen for my life & I shall see who I meet along the way. Who knows? Maybe I'll meet someone special? The important thing is, when I'm with her, I'm a better man. No shopping list of wants can ever produce that. She is not a Christmas present. She is designed by God for me. Two imperfections made perfect in each other.
However, with age, I will have become more established, more renowned, more successful & making more money. With age, if I'm looking for true love, I do have to be wary of this: