Gluteus Gloom

It's something that girls adore.
They like to feel it, grab it &, of course, smack it.
Like all good things, it comes in pairs.
You know what I'm talking about...

I was jogging on a quiet Monday afternoon when I stepped on a puddle, slipped, floated into a seated position & landed right on top of my left bum. Cold hard concrete.
What followed was pain. Lots & lots of pain. Until today.
That was when I lost the functionality of my left Gluteus Maximus.

Joni Mitchell once sang that you don't know what you've got til it's gone.
Since the incident, I've learned to appreciate my quiet & faithful buttocks more.
Can you imagine feeling pain at every waking moment?
Did you know that your glutes are involved in almost every body movement including sleep?

I couldn't sit, walk, stand or even sleep without pain.
Imagine putting your socks on in the morning sideways.
Imagine having to sit on one cheek with the support of a pillow & still feel pain.
Imagine going to see your boss & being asked to take a seat.
Do you want to know how I sat? I sat on one bum. Do you know how ridiculous that looked?
Imagine the funny looks of curiosity & students peering out of their classroom windows to look at this teacher walking like he's on stilts.

taken from
However, I did enjoy talking about it because, like I said before, injuries are sexy.
The guys empathised while the women giggled. Both were entertained. I was the hero of the hour.
I never told the students though... didn't want to arouse them unnecessarily.
A friend with a lovely black butt once told me I was injury prone.
I guess he's right. The 4" wide & 2" thick bruise on my bum after my 4" scratch on my foot proves it.

Oh well, life goes on.
Day after day, the pain subsides. Allowing more mobility.
Today, 6 days after the injury, I am able to sit for long hours without a pillow & sleep without pain.
However, I still have to put on my socks sideways.
And one bum still looks larger than the other.

p/s: I'm going jogging again tomorrow!

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