Photography Is Such A Lonely Affair

Ever since I got my SLR, I've been the designated photographer for my school.
I have been called upon to take photos of almost every person & literally every event.
It's as if a whole new world of imagery has opened up for the residents of my school.
Another probable motivating factor is... I snap for a zero fee!

Every time I look through the pictures taken after a photo-shoot or after an event, I cant help but notice that I do not exist in any of them.
Then, I'd pause & feel my heart break over the thought that I would never ever have a recorded memory of the event with my face in it.
Everybody would be exclaiming with glee & discussing excitedly how ridiculous they looked in the photos but they'd still copy the photos & cherish then.

As for me, I have nothing to cherish.
It's only me & the fleeting memories I have difficulty retaining.

Often I'd be having dinner or taking a nap & then a photograph would pop into my head...
or I might be thinking of my next blog post & an awesome idea for an accompanying picture appears.
More often that it should, most of these moments are forgotten because, for me, photography is such a lonely affair.

I wish that God would give me a buddy who shares a mutual love for all things beautiful.
Someone who desires to cause a reaction in the hearts & minds of every picture viewer.
Someone who would drop everything to brave rain or shine at a mind-boggling hour just to get the picture done 'perfectly'.

To every photographer living as an island...
Let us remember each other in our prayers.
Now that my buddies are far away... I miss their artful contributions to my expressions.
I miss you, Nas, Mien & Manan.


  1. suituapui7/11/09 06:45

    Ask a friend to take photos with you inside...

  2. There are several problems with that suggestion.

    1. Not many people at school have a camera.

    2. Even if they had one, most of them don't bother to bring it!
    Why? Coz I'm around with a bigger better camera!
    Just yell my name & you get an instant shot without lifting a finger!

    3. There is one teacher who will always bring his camera coz he sells pictures to the students.
    He takes horrible pictures but students still buy them from him!

    4. I won't let another person use my camera without my supervision.
    I cant risk putting more than a month's salary in the hands of amateurs.

    5. I am often involved in some of the performances or MC or whatever & I never get pictures because I'm the one who is supposed to be taking them at the same time.

    6. I prefer photos in-action rather than the standard smile for the camera shots. I want to remember what I did la...

    So picky hor me...
    Sometimes I feel like a woman in a man's body.

  3. Maybe you can find out if there are any photographers' club in Sibu. We have plenty of that in KL - amateur photographers would get together for short weekend trips to take photographs.

  4. there's a teacher in my school who owns a slr . and thanks to that , she's the official photographer for the school . she rarely snaps pictures of herself cause she's always snapping pictures of others .

    i think she enjoys it a lot . she even plans to go on '' honeymoon " with it . so , photography isn't such a lonely matter .

    you're still young . you'll still have lots of opportunities to be in photos .

  5. been there.
    haha! n i think i am just lucky to be here with others who own slr and willing to take my pictures. n yeah, to have the risk of giving others to use your slr knowing they know peanuts about slr is just too overwhelming. results: no photos.

    i wont let that happen to me. thus, going out with others who has slr too! or any camera! but, i am still lucky cause most of my friends know how to use slr.

    i feel blessed! ;)

    p/s: take out your tripod n use it! after all, self portrait is not that bad. hihi!

  6. Trish: There wont be much use of that unless they are willing to come live with me in the Amazon. haha~~

    Vio: Well, what about the great photos of myself that I have only in my head?
    I need them to be materialised but only an experienced shutter finger can do it.

    Izzy: After many such occasions...
    It's so blardy troublesome to use a tripod!
    Another human being would make things so much easier!

  7. maybe you go for some photography club , i personally know a sibu-nian in taylor, maybe can kenalkan to you ???

  8. Koko, i have a friend, he is a wedding photographer, and he takes photos of special events too. Everybody loved his work, and as a result, he earned alot and he has been able to travel to outstations to take photos!!

    If u really like taking photos, u should consider freelancing. U'll get paid, and u'll be so so happy for ppl will appreciate ur works. :)

  9. U know what, after a while, u'll get over it.

    No worries, I'll take ur pics in Melaka!

    Seriously, teachers in my school wants some pics taken by me to be sold to the kids to fund the Kelab Bilik Guru. I replied, "give me ur thumb drive and please sign this contract. Each picture sold, I get 10 cents."

    They replied with no thumb drive.


    There u go.

  10. Anonymous7/11/09 19:22

    hehe.. been in that situation for as long as i can remember of having that bulky yet satisfying camera. of 100 pictures, i cud count the ones im in, like less than 8. it's very hard to actually accept the fact that i was there in the events, but no picture as proof. yea, asking others to take my photo would be the best solution. but, the ones they take might not be the way we want them to be. and it's so frustating! neway, like Nas said, u'll get over it.

    Yea, u'll always be in my prayer... :)

  11. with great camera comes great responsibility.

  12. Boon: Thanks for the offer but unfortunately, I'll have to pass.
    I need a photographer friend in Katibas not in Sibu.

    Jessica: I'd prefer to keep my work free.
    I want the freedom to do what I want for my own satisfaction rather than trying to please a client.
    But I'll keep this in mind though. Thanks.

    Musica: Take my pics? Thanks, bro!

    Mien: Make sure you come to Melaka!
    We'll be there for 3 nights so better late than never!

    Najib: That is damn cheesy. haha~~

  13. next time should call me. I will help sir to take photos!!!!

  14. I got an LX3 as Teacher's Day present, and since then, the school's been putting me in charge of photography (even w my old Exilim from way back) coz i like taking pics and they know i got a damn great cam, since no one else has anythg better. The headmaster has a Nikon smthg DSLR but he never shares his pics w us, so its like it doesnt matter he has it or not, and he WONT let us borrow it to take pics of school events.

    So yea, am in the same predicament as you, even to a point some of the teachers complain that their pics were not taken on the day wtf. I try to get my pics taken during the day but stimes, the outcomes are crappy.

    But, I nvr let anyone has the pics. Just chose a few then give it to them for documentation, and I keep the rest. There's that issue of ownership since I get NOTHING for my efforts. so far, none has been sold to students WITHOUT my consent.

    Recently the PK1 asked where are all the pics i took this yr, i said in my comp and if they want it they should give me some mney haha talk abt blackmail.

  15. That's the problem with being a photographer. You are never in the photo. I agree with you.

    Anyway, I turned to street photography after realizing this.

  16. Hi AK, you surely wouldn't know who i am. Anyway have been your blog follower sometime (and also Trish's). I bumped into Trish's blog 1st than got yours. I couldnt restrain myself popping into the comment box this time round. I have been seeing my digital album collection, i realized my pics are scarce:( your blog...felt better;)..agreed its a lonely affair, but we lit up and capture the moment of joyous of others, that feeling is an unique rush of adrenalin. Adios my net-friend. Keep on writing, you are an enzyme;)

  17. Thanks for the encouragement, Vithya!
    And thanks for following my blog!

  18. Hahaha….i know how it feels!!! Nevermind senior, u’ll get used to it. I need to do that a lot here in Wellington; BERSATU GAMES, and other grand events but I myself never got the chance to be in any of those photos. Kecewa, KeCEWA, KECEWA!!!Kalau ada pun, kualiti tak puas hati aish….using TRIPOD to snap your own photo? not a good idea! So troublesome. I’m very certain that one day u’ll have someone to take your photos. smile!

    Feel free to visit my flickr webpage senior!

    all the best to you!

  19. Yes, all good juniors call me senior/abang/senpai/sifu/boss/master & bow down at my feet.
    Thanks for feeding my ego.


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