I Must Change

taken from yeeeeee.com
I'm a nice guy. I stay positive & treat everybody nice. I'm polite, I avoid confrontation, stepping on toes & desire to seek win-win situations.
I'm the kind of guy who tries his best to make the best of everything that comes his way. Be it things that I take pleasure in or things that I just cannot stand. I'm willing to do things that I do not enjoy & put real effort into it.
When I delegate, I make sure that the person on the receiving end does not feel like it's him/her against the world. Also, I give credit where it is due & try to encourage the people who work with me.
I believe in servitude and turning the other cheek & I readily forgive those who have trespassed me.
When I deal with money, I want the best bargain for my students. I do not accept commissions & whatever is offered will be deducted from the bill as discounts so that I can stretch the money.

taken from flickr.com
I have reached a point in my career where if I want to advance, it doesn't mean that I have to work harder; as in take on more duties or spend longer hours. No, that part of me has already been proven.
Now, I perceive that I have to develop a whole other dimension of soft skills. No, I don't mean brown-nosing or sleeping my way up. I'm looking at the hardcore side of the softcore.
I have to have a strong conviction & be as strong to defend them. This means I must develop a horrible bark & a bite that is worse if not equally potent. Yet I must do it with such grace & artfulness that people find it incredibly apt.

I'm not doing this because I have several hardcore students that deserve hardcore spanking from me.
No, often it is not the students that teachers find hard to handle. It's actually other teachers who are usually the major headaches & mind-fackers. More often than desired, it is especially true when dealing with those with rank or power in school.

There is no guarantee that everybody in an organisation will see eye to eye on every issue. Even if they have the same objectives, their means of achieving an end will also differ.
If I really believe that my intentions are pure & my means are justified, I have to fight for it.
I have to fight for the space to carry out my duty according to my conscience.
I have to defend every last cent allocated to my department lest it be used for personal gain or elsewhere without my knowledge.

taken from zootpatrol.com
Honestly, I've taken too much sheet this year & I've been too docile for my own good.
It's my transition year. A time for me to learn as much as I can, to make as many mistakes as I can & be willing to bend over & cry daddy.
Next year, the gloves are off. No holds barred.
I will fight all those who seek to use their power for personal gain.
I will fight those who seek to use bureaucracy to limit me.
I will be critical when ppl try to sweet-talk me into endorsing projects.
I will fight mismanagement. I will make sharp judgements. I will ask hard questions. I will stand firm.
I will demand the best for the students regardless of whether they deserve it or not because it is my duty & sacrifice as a Chief Warden & as a teacher.
I will use all the weapons I have acquired in my arsenal of psychology against those who are corrupt.

taken from superstock.co.uk
First, I will have to break free in my ongoing struggle with personal doubt & fear.


  1. Anonymous25/6/11 13:51

    You're a hero...and look at what always happens to heroes in the end. I was a hero, no apple-polishing,no nonsense...and look at what I got in the end - nothing...except my principles and the ability to say in all sincerity and pride that "I did it.....my way".

  2. Good luck and all the best Koko! :)

  3. Arthur: We need to stay true to ourselves. Only the pure live a purposeful life. There's no point in living if we bend to the winds like a weed in the fields.
    But I will not be a hero. Not everybody can be a hero & when a hero leaves, a big hole is left behind. I must learn to duplicate myself in other junior teachers. I'm going to read a book about this soon.

    Jessica: Thanks!

  4. I've been reading your blog, and after years, the posts are still resounding true! My favourite quote: "I appreciate your many years of service but you are taking up valuable space a younger person would make better use of.
    The civil service is not a welfare service. It is an accumulation of the best & most passionate to glorify our nation." and of course from this one, "It's actually other teachers who are usually the major headaches & mind-fackers."

    I might be slightly luckier that I've built a rapport with the admins. I mean, they listen to me whenever I propose something, or how to make things more efficient. There's always a room for negotiation. Plus, the best part.. they speak English, too! Yet, the other teachers think I'm a**licking (If I'm doing so, I won't be asking for works).

    Ps. I suggest you to join us at vocational college BPTV. We've had enough with the exam oriented system. We've the autonomy to decide the contents. We need more people like you!

    1. Hey, thanks for reading my blog.

      I appreciate your invitation to BPTV. However, I feel that I can do more in the sheer mass of the normal school system. I want to be working where I can make the most impact.
      With people like you, I'm sure it'll go great without inexperienced me.

      As for my rapport with the admin, well, there are some things I am not willing to share online. Sometimes when people are in admin with a purpose other than leading or educating, we have a problem. Being lazy or don't care or helicopter admin is much better than what I have experienced.


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