Now that I am older, I choose to see them & love them for their good side. Nobody is perfect. Not even ourselves. Everybody has flaws. Especially our parents. Once upon a time, I wanted them to accept me for who I was & not what they wanted me to be. (That's the ultimate desire of every child. To know that your love is unconditional.) I guess now that I know better, instead of pointing fingers, shouldn't I take the lead? I am truly ashamed of the child that I was. Now that I am an adult, I will adopt the ways of an adult & love my parents the way they want to be loved.
This might help.) I feel that it is my responsibility as the eldest child (who happens to also be a teacher for crying out loud) to play a larger part in the lives of my siblings. I hate feeling extremely inadequate when my father comes to me with a question about our education system or a request & I am unable to do anything because I am sooooooo freaking isolated & uninformed in my jungle school.
Especially now that my youngest brother is really struggling in school even with all the support, technology, camps & tuition money can buy. Next year is his Form 5 & if he continues on his current path, it will not bid well for him. SPM is the single most important exam in a Malaysian's life. You can judge the worth of a person by looking at his/her SPM results. (Degrees are overrated. Truly.) I plan to bring him with me into the jungle school & give him the best of all that I have in my personal capacity & my network of great teachers in my jungle school. In my 4 years, I have done so much & learned even more. I shall use that for him. I will create something unprecedented for the Form 5 next year. Watch me.