Courage

Posted on Monday, 6 August

Posted on Friday, 10 August

I often wonder if I should write about this. About a conspiracy against me & my organisation by someone within the organisation. Something wicked & malicious that has been allowed to fester & reign like a cancer. I guess everybody will have something to learn from this so I shall write about the issues without making identities known. This has been the primary reason for me to write 2 lengthy FB statuses in BM last week (as seen above) & the reason why my 2 years as Ketua Warden has been a complete nightmare & the worst years of my short career.

I want this person & his cronies to know that I know what he is up to & I am not afraid of him. I have always ignored his activities as long as they did not conflict with my work. I did not want a fight but he chose to pick one with me. All the time. The latest incident was the last straw. It was an act of war. A war that was forced upon me. Either I stand & fight or let his carnal desires & greed take over. I now have to fight against cunning & manipulation in a shadowy game unfamiliar to me. One thing I am familiar with is, in the end, good always triumphs.

From the bible, I learn that the devil comes dressed like an angel. Beautiful, clean, shining in glory, smiling & whispering sweet words. The more evil the demon, the more effort he puts into making his mask even more convincing. I remember not too long ago a person who gave me a lot of 'good' advice and he talked about all the 'good' things he wanted to do in the school. This person expressed a deep love for the students, constantly worried about them & wanted them to do well. Later I found out that he was just saying what I wanted to hear so he could use me or take something from me. If I did not let him, he would threaten me, disturb my work & eventually attack me.

Liars/manipulators often look harmless & they will maintain their innocence even after they have been compromised. Shout a lie loud enough, repeat it long enough & eventually people will think it is true.

The bible says that the devil is the father of all lies. When he wants something from you, he will tell you 101 of the noblest reasons why you should do it. He will make it seem that it will make the world a better place or something that will profit you. He knows how to push your buttons & he will sell the idea to you. Only after you actually do it, do you realise that you were tricked & he has profited in some way from your lack of foresight. In other words, he used me & I was ignorantly happy to be his bitch until I wisened up.

The bible also teaches me to judge a tree by its fruit. That is how you spot a false prophet. A good person will always do good things. He will do honest work, be generous & speak words that give life. A bad person will always do bad things no matter how hard he tries to justify it or dress it up or divert attention to another person's shortcomings. A bad person steals, lies, cheats, manipulates & colludes with birds of a feather. An evil person will sometimes do things that appear good when actually they are profiting from it in some twisted way!

You will definitely meet people like this in your service. They are masters of disguise who will appear to be on your side to you all the time. To your adversary, he will also appear on his side. He will make himself the hero of everyone by being two-faced with everyone. He will use your trivial disputes with each other against you while he profits from it. Divide & conquer. As long as you are fighting against each other, he can easily control all of you. Therefore, the ultimate question is how do you deal with people like this?

Initially, all good people will give him the benefit of the doubt. They will give in to his demands. As you give up more & more ground, eventually, he will demand something from you that is contrary to all that you believe in. This is when the devil stakes a claim for your soul.
You can give in again & again. Ending up lost, dejected & bitter.
You can join him & be his crony. You'll commit evil acts for him & recruit devils of your own.
You can egress. Give up all posts, wash your hands & watch powerlessly as he gets his way with your successor.
Or you can choose to hold your ground & fight for the supremacy of good and the freedom of your soul.

How do you fight without allowing this evil to corrupt your soul? Every day, I struggle with revenge clouding my judgement & anger demanding retaliation. Being exposed to evil = learning to be evil. I feel a dark hand creep into my heart. It is oh so tempting to satiate my desire for revenge & enjoy the satisfaction of sinking a knife into the flesh of my enemy as a 'fair' exchange. Is it right to return evil with evil? When has a war been beneficial to those who have taken part in it? When does a war actually end? War never ends. It just takes on different forms. After a few exchanges, we would have no idea why we were fighting in the first place.

I understand now that I am fighting a war of principles. I have to look beyond the obvious attempts at sabotage & realise that there is something higher going on here. If I give him a taste of his own medicine, he would have won. He would have succeeded in corrupting me & turning me into a more powerful version of him. No. I will not be of the devil. I must go beyond that. My actions must reflect a higher level of intellect. I must not bulge from my higher moral ground. My spirit will not be broken. Once I lose my spirit, he has won.

taken from lifevesting.com

I will continue to do what I am doing now because, even though I have suffered everything from public humiliation to false accusations for the past 2 years, I have been victorious. I have climbed every brick wall he has placed in my way & climbed out of every pit he threw me in. I will continue to be victorious. I will continue to do what I do as long as I am in a position to do it. Good is already triumphing. I may never be able to win him to the side of good but my actions will reverberate throughout the world & I will win more & more people to the good fight. In the end, good will triumph.