English Oral Test Bloopers

I recently finished conducting oral tests with 4 classes of the lower Form...

Boy, was it a struggle!
sometimes I struggle with finding ways to oversimplify my English.
sometimes I struggle with listening to unintelligible pseudo-English gibberish.
but mostly I struggle with keeping from lol-ing at their honest yet pitiful answers.

Let me share some of the highlights of my experience!
My spoken words are in red.
The student's are in green.

This boy walks in timidly & sits down quietly for the test.
I try to break the ice with a greeting.
Good morning, boy.
Suddenly, he experiences an electrifying burst of energy...
Good morning! To my teacher! And to my fellow friends!
There were only 2 of us in the room.

This girl greets me in BM, so I say:
This is an English test so I need you to speak English not BM, okay?
She nods in understanding, smiles and says very sweetly:
Baaaiik, ciiikguuuu.
My response was somewhere between smiling & crying.

After asking a boy to talk about himself, he doesn't understand the question & remains silent.
So I decided to be more specific.
How old are you, boy?
He looks at me as if a light bulb just went 'ting' in his head.
I am fine, thank you!
I've had so many of these answers that I just gave him an expressionless stare.

After asking too many specific questions, I found a student who looked like she could handle a more general question.
Tell me about your day.
The student thinks very long & hard before uttering this answer loudly.
8 July 2009!
Great... Back to the specifics!

This kid has been struggling to understand my questions & find answers.
I am also struggling... to find questions that he can answer!
Finally, I asked him about his hobby... fishing.
Why do you like fishing?
He was very confident with his answer.
I like fishing because I like fishing.
I almost fell off my chair.

So there you have it!
I love being a teacher.
I love being a teacher because I can laugh at students.
I love being a teacher because sometimes they unknowingly laugh at themselves too!
I love being a teacher because, after sharing the story with my colleagues & having a great laugh together, I can write a blog post so my friends can laugh too.
Share the love!


  1. Somehow I feel that they are just being genuine, Jarod... =)

  2. Hahaha Koko! U should post this in reader's digest! :p
    Anyways, u know what, i experienced almost the same thing during SBE!!
    Imagine, when a teacher was teaching in the class, there were a few students sleeping, even though they're sitting in front of the teacher. And when the teacher called their names and asked them if they understand or not, they woke up, shooked the head and went back to dreamland!!! Gosh gosh!!

  3. Haha~ yup, that's one of the good things of being a teacher..The students somehow will make your day.

  4. i asked my students to turn to page 12. and i found out they didn't know what twelve is. they all turned to different pages. gosh i felt like crying at that time because it was too hilarious.

    and on another occasion, i asked a student how are you today? he answered, "saya nak pergi bawah tu teacher". #$%^*!?????

  5. Anonymous16/7/09 19:57

    o like fishing cause i like fishing . classic !

    that's what you get when you be a teacher . awesome jokes !

  6. heheh! this is so hillarious Ah Kam! thx for sharing!

  7. their eng very gud...
    being a tchr in a ulu skul is like tat la...
    keep on laughing!!

  8. Zam:
    Those are indeed genuine answers!

    I would force those sleeping students to stand up.
    Either that or I'd sneak up to them & give them a big ass shock!

    The younger students constantly make my day.
    It's the older ones in the lower classes that give me a hard time every time.

    oh, what an utopian dream it is for ulu kids, eh?

    More awesome jokes to come!

    My pleasure!


    Yes, there is always something to make me laugh!

  9. Whoa! Im impressed, baby.
    Their "England" is very "powderful"!


  10. hahahahahahahahahaha.

    ni kurang ajar! i gelak sampai keluar air mata.

    owh.this is what i love about being teacher. who have blogs to share.

    now i feel guilty. i shouldn't have laugh at the 1st place.


  11. they are very creative, cause they can think such answers...

  12. Hahahaha.You made my day!This is so funny.hahahaha.

  13. Trish:
    Yeah, I feel such a deep pity for some of them that after the test, I sat them down & gave them some feedback.
    Hope they do better next time.

    **high five**

    I'm not sure 'creative' is the right word...


  14. haha. had similar moment as well.

    me: how are you today?
    student: today is friday.

  15. Ahahaha...Totally hilarious!!!!
    remindd me of a student of mine...

    me talking with my partner in english...
    student : cg ckp bhs ape tue??
    me : bhs inggeris...
    student : lajunye..saye ingat bhs arab td...
    me : uh....

    they hv d ability to rendered grown adults(uhuks..) speechless with less than 5 words...

  16. Niviey:
    Well, if you like being out of words do return to my blog for more!

    Dont we just love them?

    Students are awesome arent they?

  17. Aiyo!!! So lagi cute la! They're so cute and innocent beings... LOL. You didn't laugh at them right? Hahaha... damn cute la kids! LOL I bet they didn't know they said something wrongly

  18. Of course I didn't laugh at them during the test.
    I had to look professional, mah!
    I only laughed at them afterwards.

  19. LOL. like one of my students who read 'brass' as 'breast'. LOL...

    had to control myself and tell him. NO, boy, it's BRASS. not BREAST.. LOL


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