English Oral Test Bloopers

I recently finished conducting oral tests with 4 classes of the lower Form...

Boy, was it a struggle!
sometimes I struggle with finding ways to oversimplify my English.
sometimes I struggle with listening to unintelligible pseudo-English gibberish.
but mostly I struggle with keeping from lol-ing at their honest yet pitiful answers.

Let me share some of the highlights of my experience!
My spoken words are in red.
The student's are in green.

#1
This boy walks in timidly & sits down quietly for the test.
I try to break the ice with a greeting.
Good morning, boy.
Suddenly, he experiences an electrifying burst of energy...
Good morning! To my teacher! And to my fellow friends!
There were only 2 of us in the room.

#2
This girl greets me in BM, so I say:
This is an English test so I need you to speak English not BM, okay?
She nods in understanding, smiles and says very sweetly:
Baaaiik, ciiikguuuu.
My response was somewhere between smiling & crying.

#3
After asking a boy to talk about himself, he doesn't understand the question & remains silent.
So I decided to be more specific.
How old are you, boy?
He looks at me as if a light bulb just went 'ting' in his head.
I am fine, thank you!
I've had so many of these answers that I just gave him an expressionless stare.

#4
After asking too many specific questions, I found a student who looked like she could handle a more general question.
Tell me about your day.
The student thinks very long & hard before uttering this answer loudly.
8 July 2009!
Great... Back to the specifics!

#5
This kid has been struggling to understand my questions & find answers.
I am also struggling... to find questions that he can answer!
Finally, I asked him about his hobby... fishing.
Why do you like fishing?
He was very confident with his answer.
I like fishing because I like fishing.
I almost fell off my chair.


So there you have it!
I love being a teacher.
I love being a teacher because I can laugh at students.
I love being a teacher because sometimes they unknowingly laugh at themselves too!
I love being a teacher because, after sharing the story with my colleagues & having a great laugh together, I can write a blog post so my friends can laugh too.
Share the love!
=)

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